of chilli crab and weekend cycling trips with my dad
bc we're both emotionally stunted 👹men👹, i will deny any implication that writing this made me emotional. i will not be taking any further questions at this time.
recently, for a video we were shooting, i’d asked my dad if he’d like to go on an early morning cycle with me to watch the sunrise. of course, at the time, because this was going to be for work i hadn’t thought much of it – i’d assumed we’d go for a quick jaunt, have a simple instant breakfast, and be done with it.
I haven’t been spending much time with the old man and when I finally did, it came to my realisation that he has aged significantly since the last time we cycled together.
my dad is a simple man: a kampong boy who grew up by East Coast/Katong, he’d spent his childhood romping in the sea, going fishing and getting up to all manner of mischief – and he made sure that my brothers’ and my childhoods were filled with the same joys. my younger days were filled with memories of him cycling around the neighbourhood, bringing me to school everyday on his motorbike, and taking me on our weekly swimming sessions.
like many Asian dads, he was a stern coach (once, he got mad at me and told me i swim like a dugong????!!! wtf and i only recently found out it’s bc dugongs are famously slow and cannot hold their breaths for long 😒) and i can’t deny i used to grouse about having to go along with some of his adventures.
now that we’re all a bit (a lot) older, it’s been awhile since we’ve had the chance to do something together. despite being 71, my dad has yet to retire from his hospitality job (he spent his life working in the hotel industry), so his hours are long and irregular. before my stint at nOm, i was working in restaurants which meant weekends were always off the table. between our incompatible schedules, and undeniably a complacency that my dad would always be available to spend time with me if i asked him to, it inadvertently became years since we intentionally made time for each other, or went cycling together.
i don’t know if this is a common human experience, but do you remember that one sobering moment when you realised that as you were growing up, your parents were also growing older? at his age, my dad is still active and easily out-speeds me on a bike, but I’ve noticed that he has significantly held back on doing the physical activities that he loves. he doesn't ride his motorcycle anymore, especially after he was diagnosed with having cataracts. some close shaves meant we also had to stage an intervention where he wasn’t to go cycling alone anymore, without company.
other than outdoor activities, he also hasn’t been cooking as much as he used to. despite mum leading the affairs of the kitchen, my dad used to jump in every now and then to cook dishes he’d learnt when he was working in hotels throughout his career. a dish I vividly remember and was always excited to eat was his Chilli Crab! we used to go to Senoko Fishery Port in the wee hours of Sunday mornings to get the freshest live crabs for this.
although dad’s age means he’s had to slow down a little to accommodate his health, whether outdoors or in the kitchen, this weekend’s cycling trip also reminded me of my father’s undying youthful spirit which stays unwavering and unchanged despite his physical and mental decline due to old age. this defining characteristic of his is what deeply inspiring to me and like his Chilli Crab recipe, is something worth inheriting. oh how I hope to have that same thirst for life, when I get to his age!
this video was sponsored by Knorr. Knorr Jok is lower in sodium, made with Thai Jasmine rice and ready in 2 minutes! – shop Knorr Jok here
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Bapak’s Chilli Crab Recipe:
2 x 550g - 600g mud crabs, cleaned and segmented
¼ cup vegetable oil
To make rempah:
6 shallots, peeled
5 cloves garlic, peeled
8 red chillies
1 inch ginger
1 inch galangal
2 lemongrass
3 candlenuts, soaked in water
To finish the sauce:
1 tablespoon chilli boh (chilli paste)
2 tablespoon ketchup
2 tablespoon chilli sauce
2 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon cane vinegar
2 sprigs coriander leaves
1 tablespoons cornstarch
1 large egg, beaten
Salt, to taste
Water, as needed
In a blender, process the rempah ingredients into a fine paste.
Clean, gut and segment crab into pieces.
In a pot/wok, heat oil and add the rempah and chilli paste. Fry while constantly stirring for 5 minutes or until the oil is starting to separate.
Add water and bring the sauce to a boil. Simmer for 10 minutes, covered. Add in ketchup, chilli sauce, vinegar and sugar and simmer for another 2 minutes.
Add in the crabs and toss evenly to coat. Cover the pot/wok with a lid and simmer to cook the crabs fully.
Dissolve cornstarch with 2 tablespoons of water and fold it into the sauce. Simmer until well-thickened. Taste and adjust seasoning accordingly.
Pour in the beaten egg and let the egg cook, unstirred for 30 seconds. Then, fold the eggs in for a silky texture.
Serve the chilli crab decoratively on a plate, garnish with coriander leaves and spring onion. Enjoy alongside toasted baguettes (like how my family enjoys it), steamed rice or deep-fried mantous.